Dear Amanda: I'm engaged to marry ‘Steve’ in August. He has a 3-year-old daughter, ‘Sarah’ from his first marriage. I moved in with Steve several weeks after we began dating and have been cleaning his house, taking care of Sarah when she's here, doing his laundry, cooking for him – all the wifey duties..
Sarah’s mom has made it clear she doesn’t want her. The woman remarried six weeks ago and has asked us to take Sarah. Her husband is loud, mean and abusive, so I don't think it would be safe for Sarah to stay there.
My problem is I can't stand Sarah! She's a spoiled brat. I don't want to be a full-time mother, although at some point I'd like to have a child of my own. I haven't told Steve how I feel because I'm afraid he'll kick me out. I don't think we can work this out because he loves Sarah, and I don't think he'd understand why I don't want to be her stepmother. What should I do? --Not a StepMom, Commerce City, CO
Dear NotaStepmom: Wow. You are just awful aren’t you? You were serious enough about a man to move in and start performing ‘wifey’ duties, you’re concerned about little Sarah but not enough to want to ensure her future by being a good mom to her. So she’s a brat! So what? Know what fixes that? Regular exercise and a regular ass-kicking. I mean she’s just 3 years old, there’s room for change! This girl may need you. Hell she may love you and see you as a mother figure already. Her own mom doesn’t want her around and we all know things like that can contribute to behavioral problems. I bet with a little love and a lot of discipline this girl could really straighten out and turn out to be a good person but your lack of understanding means this won’t happen. I suggest you high-tail it out of that household a.s.a.p unless you mean to be a real part of that family. I’m willing to bet they’re better off without you.
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